Our growing boy …

Communal life is awesome. For reals. We have, however, been in the car for most of the last 48 hours. It was rough even for us Atlantans, but brutal on our Oklahoma friends who are not accustomed to such all-day trips. We did, though, accomplish a lot from all of those trips. We got Josh’s computer fixed, made some Mojitos, took our thrid trip to the Whole Foods Market (which included finding out they had their own beehive and listening to a lecture on colon cleansing), 4 trips to the Gap, etc. etc.

Jack is getting adjusted to his new roomates. He’s still a banchi half of the time, but at least now he tires out quicker. Some pictures to prove it:

And at least he has his priorities straight, stretching out next to the Mac.

And one shot of Josh working hard in the newly renovated Red Cowboy “studios” a.k.a bedroom.

 

I’m Back

I know it’s been close to half of a century since I blogged, but there’s a reason. I got my feelings hurt, I know, total girl thing to do. See, Eric called me a level one blogger sometime back and it made me mad. He knows this, I’m not airing dirty laundry to the general public. Ever since I have had no desire to blog. Until now.

See, our lives just took a turn for the better. It just got a little messier, but seemingly very much more “together.” I’m sure if you’re reading this you read Josh’s blog, too. Therefore you already know that Tank and Jessica moved in with us in part of a grand experiment in communal living. It’s only been 3 days or so, but so far things are great.

At some point, someone will get frustrated at someone else. For who knows what. Drying the dishes incorrectly. Passing gas in the “common” areas of the house. Making a joke they didn’t find funny. Making fun of Jessica’s nub heart. The great thing is, though, that we all realize that time will come. We’re not naive to that fact that this will be messy. We all recognize the potential this has to change everything.

Josh’s post about experimentation couldn’t be more encouraging to me. In the end, I hope the Tankersleys still consider us friends. I hope we can still enjoy our “vacations” to the Whole Foods Market. In the long run, though, success with this grand experiment means so much more than failure. Success means life changes in so many ways. Success means being more like Christ. Success means using the little bit we’ve been given to actually make a difference. Even if that’s only using reusable grocery bags, it’s a start.

And just so everyone knows, here’s a list of my most dreaded questions to answer about this whole thing. I’ll answer them here so everyone stops asking.

1. So how long will these people be living with you?

A. Who knows. We don’t know. It could be 2 weeks if they realize they don’t like how I’m sort of a neat freak and Josh spends a lot of time in the restroom. It could be 2 years if this ends up being a “success.” Whatever that means.

2. Exactly how do you know these people?

A. We met online. Weird, I know. But that’s the beauty of modern technology.

3. So you’ve only met them one time before now.

A. Yes. What else do you want me to say.

4. Are you sure this is a good idea?

A. Nope. Niether are they. So far, it works, though. At least we’re giving it a shot.

Some pictures from the first few days of the grand experiment in communal living:

The newly renovated office with room for two graphic designers, one card maker, and one video editor.

Josh at one of our “common meals.”

Sleepy Jessica.

Jack loves his new roomates.

Our reusable grocery bags.

The Tankersleys pwning some 12 year olds on XBox Live.

Jack loves the extra attention.

 

New Pictures

Not really much to say. Just that we got a puppy and he’s a heck of a lot of work. He’s the greatest, though. These are some recent pictures …

 

One year as Anna Brown

One year ago today I married my best friend. Not much has changed since then. A lot has. I don’t know. Nothing feels incredibly different, but everything does. Make sense? I didn’t think so.

Marriage helps you realize how truly selfish you are. And working past that, small steps at a time, is such a refreshing experience. Learning to put someone else first makes everything else make a whole lot more sense. A lot of things have come together for me over the past year.

My growing love and respect my husband is overwhelming. It grows every day.

We’re learning new ways to love. I’ve learned it’s okay when he leaves wet towels in the laundry bin. He’s learned sometimes I just cry. No reason. I just do.

We purchased our first Christmas tree and made our home a winter wonderland for the first time. We spent many nights with many friends in our den playing games. We had our first fire in our fireplace. We planted flowers together for the first time. Josh taught me how to mow the yard, even though I gave up after a lap or two. We became a one car family.

Most importantly, though, I feel like we have become a family. I really feel one with him. That marriage bond is still growing, but it’s really taken root. We’re on the same team. We’re fighting for the same things. We can finish each other’s sentences. We know how to react to one another.

Life has never been better.

And right now we’re in Seattle living it up. Stay tuned for a bagllion pictures to come.

And a big happy first anniversary to our northern friends Mike and Jill. It surely feels like we’ve known them a lifetime. It’s been two days shy of a year since we shared a ride in the death cab from the Antiguan airport at 1:00 a.m. and were friends from the get go. No one else would have been better to get eaten alive by bugs with, risk our lives on a speedboat, and drink frozen margaritas all day long with. We love you Schwenzens! (Bean/Joshalina included)

 

My throat hurts. From screaming at Jousting Knights.

All I can say is I have about 200 other pictures to sift through. This is how my husband and I spent our evening tonight. And it was magical.

 

I’ve been playing with Nikki …

Thanks to everyone for being so understanding while they see more of my camera than myself. It’s hard to be social when you’re trying to capture magic. And a very special thanks to Tad and Kimberly for allowing their children to be my subjects. I think I’m abusing their childhood wonder and I think they should ban me from using my camera around their girls.

 

Just a few favorites

Here is a slideshow of a few favorite pictures thus far from our new camera. Keep in mind I still really stink at this, and lots of them are black and white because we all know that covers a multitude of sins. And I like them black and white anyway. Right now they don’t look like they are from any special camera. Just give me time.

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The Exodus

Josh has been hosting a conversation with some of our friends who have either walked away or been forced out of the traditional model of church. There are 8 of us writing and we’ve been doing so all week. If you want to get the links for all of them that have been written so far, you can go here. Below is my response to the question, “Why did you leave the church or re-evaluate your role within it?” You can find the post on his site here.

 

This is all a really new experience for me. I don’t write about these things often, really think about them much if I’m fair. That’s why I married a man who does. He challenges every part of me. And we’ve surrounded ourselves with people who do. I resonate with so many of the inputs and opinions around me, I just don’t spend as much time “chewing” on this stuff as many of my close friends do. But I enjoy being a spectator. And learning tons while I challenge my brain over dinner conversations and video chats.

 

I think I’m right in the middle of Leslie’s perspective and Eric’s, obviously with different insights on both ends of the spectrum. I’m Leslie because I’ve been burned and it hurts. I’ve been a member of the competition. And I’m not proud of what I became. I’m Eric because I think it should be different and it makes me sad.

All of that disclaimer was to say that a large portion of the “church” part of my life is an “I don’t know.”

 

I’m not sure how I feel about mega churches right now. I do know I don’t “fit” there anymore. I don’t know if I think house churches are the way to go 100%. I do know that being involved as little as I have, I’ve never had a more real encounter with Christ as when we attended a friend’s house church. I can’t pinpoint an exact reason why I feel what I do, but I’ll give you a few of my viewpoints and allow you to see through my eye gate for a while.

 

I think if I’d never started dating Josh, I would have been elbow-deep in Wednesday night church right now. Dancing in the front row at the big “Christian” concert. Thinking alcohol is evil. Pointing fingers at couples who live together before they are married. Praying for those who “have fallen away from the church.” At the bookstore on midnight on the release date of the latest Max Lucado book, no offense Max.

 

It wasn’t until recently I started to realize how crazy that lifestyle is. Not for everyone, but for me. I never knew I would enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. I wasn’t allowed to entertain the idea. I had never been in the shoes of an “outsider” as Southern Christian Culture defines them. Now I’m one of them. And I’m having the time of my life. I’m connecting with God on a whole new, deeper level.

 

All of this adventure has come at a cost, though. We’ve lost relationships. We’ve chosen to lose jobs. But we’ve gained more than we could have imagined. It took a while though, and we couldn’t find our place.

 

There became no space for us in the traditional church setting. We didn’t belong in leadership anymore, having no heart for the agenda of most churches we had been involved with. We didn’t belong in membership, having no real avenues for community. We didn’t fit. People would encourage us to share our thoughts, to be open. Then look at us like we had 2 heads after we became brave enough to finally add to a conversation.

 

There was no room for us to throw away our 9-5 jobs and that be okay. No space for us to miss church on Sunday mornings and that be acceptable. No ability for us to want to raise our children in monastic community and that not be weird. To want our money to count for something other than buildings and intelligent lights. To want to sleep in big palettes in the living room with our kids for weeks on end if that’s what they want to do (ht: Andrew Jones). For us to watch 6 year-olds care more about the JCPenney Christmas Catalog than other people, and that be weird to us. For us to get angry when fellow Christians belittled a waitress and that not to be “expected” when they give less than stellar service.

 

I could go on. But the bottom line is, the way I began to feel to be called to live out my faith didn’t work in that setting. The non-negotiables of what we want our lives to look like didn’t align with the non-negotiables of the traditional church. My idea of holiness isn’t the same as that of the traditional church. That’s not to say one is better, or one is right and one is wrong.

 

I think the main thing people need to know is, we’re not petitioning against that type of congregation. We just don’t feel we belong there any longer. Maybe forever. We’re outcasts in that society. And that’s okay.

 

Where we’re at it . . . it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to go full in to an idea that may not work. But we know it would be a violation of our calling to shy away from the challenge of living a different life and reaching a different group.

 

For so long, we were told we were innovators and revolutionaries, and that our place was in the traditional setting of church, as a change agent. As a catalyst to a revolution. For years in my church, and as my first professional career, my role was that of a rising leader. I was given that task of taking the church in to the next generation, figuring out how to reach people like me. Then when I came up with new ideas, they were shot down before I even had time to think through them fully.

 

I was lead to believe my voice could make a difference. It didn’t. And that was a harsh reality to face. I could name many names off the top of my head who fell victim to such a promise. Any maybe we’re young, immature, and impatient, but you can only be snuffed out so many times before you give up.

 

It was a sad day the day I realized I wasn’t a change agent at all. I was a quota that was being met. I was “one of the young people.” The figurehead innovators. I served no real purpose other than to make the large Christian organization I worked for look like they were young and hip. With a finger on culture. Up and coming. Doing everything it took to reach the next generation.

 

We’re thankful for the community of journeyers we’ve linked up with. We’re hopeful because of friends like you. Those of you who blog and those who don’t. Those of you who wrestle with these issues with us. Who have our back at all times. You are our lifeline. You keep us grounded. And we thank you for that.

 

I’m proud to be on the outside.

 

The newest member of our family …

So, Josh and I made a big purchase today. We’re considering her another member of our family. Welcome, little Miss Nikon D. Brown. We call her Nikki. Well, I do. The name hasn’t caught on much with Mr.Brown, but I think it will soon. We’re really, really new at this, and by far amateurs, but I’ve had the most fun playing around with her today. I can’t wait to figure out everything she’ll do. I’m posting some raw footage from our first photo shoot today. Keep in mind, we’re really new at this. Hopefully you’ll watch as we get better at using our little Nikki Brown. Peace, love, and exposure.

 

A Day In The Life Of . . .

Josh and I made a little marriage video blog of our Sunday together.